Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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