What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
