dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
