We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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