Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
