Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
