Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
