in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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