the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
