btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize