oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
