So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
