Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I want to have your abortion
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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