He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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