I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
