She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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