Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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