first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
