Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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