Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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