Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
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I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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