Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
