At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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