Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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