The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
