i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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