Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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