dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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