Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
