i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
