mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize