After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
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Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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