im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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