My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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