His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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