nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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