I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
