So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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