For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
