that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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