Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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