I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
