she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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