I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
