I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
