where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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