well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
