We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
