Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
