Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
