the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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