Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
