haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
