You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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