we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
