What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
