Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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