I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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