I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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