That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
