he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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