I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
