I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize