either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
